In the middle of the changing season,
I casually feel how long the day is.
In the midst of restless busy days,
You and I paint our dream.
Place our love on the winds of march,
A cherry blossom sprout will move on into spring.
Little specs of overflowing light,
Warm up the morning, little by little.
Standing at the entrance to a new world..
What I noticed was that I was not alone.
Closing my eyes and-
the you who I see behind my eyelids,
Has somehow helped me to become stronger.
I too,
Want to be like that for you.



TIEN.

Hey all,

I just wanted to share this with you, feel free to e-mail me about it, you don't have to agree with my point of vieuw.
Thanks for reading!

When I was about 14 I started with questioning everything and re-thinking all that I was taught by humans in my surroundings.

The mind is a pretty thing when you know how to control it.
When you find the value of imagination.
Understand how to conquer the world.
Understand that imaginative conversations can be better than real ones, since a lot of people just don't care.
They don't care for your humor, taste in music, or your opinions.
They just want to get rid of you, have sex with you, or just use you for their purpose.
Actually interesting people think you're boring, since you don't know how to use words, misaligned your talking with your thinking, or you just are too fucking shy.

Around that time I started questioning religion, I remember nights sitting up crying because I didn't know what to believe in and I was so affraid that God would be so disappointed in me if I chose to believe wrongly because all I really wanted was just to be loved and feel loved so around that time I did found love in Christianity after exploring it all out.
Soon God and Jesus became my favourite subjects to think about, to write about and to have endless conversations about just to hear other people's oppinions.
I've heard ''God IS DEAD'' about a million times.
It's just the word 'God' became because of thousands of years abuse meaningless.
With abuse I mean that people who never caught a sight of the unendless greatness talk about it with conviction and use the name like they know what they are talking about or they argue about it like they know what they are denying.
I never really liked people who just never see beauty and happiness in something and who are always just complaining on how bad their life is.
But yeah God, I never really use the word just like that, I use it sometimes because I believe that it's bigger than my sense, to truly understand the definition of it.
So let's just say that I was very Christian and I started doubting everything I had been told about God, about Jesus, about the bible etc.
My view of God, Jesus, and the relationship between God and the earth, God and Jesus, God and us, and Jesus and us, as well as us and the earth changed completely.
Now I can continue to call me a Christian but of course a very different Christian.
So different that many Christians I know don't think I am a Christian.
They would consider me a heretic or someone who just lost the orthodox faith, the right doctrine. I just lost a lot of hope in humanity, not entirely but I lost a lot of it.
We are destroying ourselves and humanism cannot solve our problems on its own.
Religion will have to play a role in solving the problems we are in right now, so I have not yet lost my hope in religion.
There are limitations in the human-centred ethics, in regard to issues of economic social and gender justice, and environmental-human health.
A human-centred ethic cannot solve our problems on its own.
You take away religion and there isn't much left that teaches us to love another person as opposed to being selfish.
Society (the market economy) isolates competitiveness as the only value it isolates it from compassion, love.
We basically need everything we can to solve our problems.
We are really facing some major problems, environmental crisis, nuclear crisis, diseases, lack of resources, financial crisis...
Some people are even saying that we are facing the 6th extinction in the history of our planet (the last one killed off 95% of the organisms walking on land).
As much as I'm angry at the way the world is going, I don't want people to suffer.
Especially the people who are not causing this to happen..
Most people suffer in this world because they have the minimum.
Proper shelter, food, water..
why?
Because 20% of the population in the world consumes 80% of its resources and when it comes to global warming, the most unfair thing about global warming is that the countries that pollute the least (third world countries)are also the ones that are not ready to face the consequences of global warming and also the ones that will suffer the most from it.
While the countries that pollute the most (USA, Canada, China, Australia, etc.) are the ones that are the most prepared to face the consequences and also the ones that will suffer the least..
As much as I'm angry at the world, I don't want to see people suffer because Canadians and Americans and the Chinese- are releasing too many greenhouse gases.
People are already dying due to global warming even now the way things are going people will suffer a lot more than they are suffering right now and the poorest will suffer the most.
So in that respect I have changed, I see Christianity as praxis. and not so much as religion.
Just as Jesus took care of the poor, healed the sick, loved the ones who were marginalized in society (women, poor, sick, etc.)
Christians are called to do the same.
So to some extent I have become an environmentalist I think..
Not because I want humans to continue to survive so that they can continue to hate each other, kill each other, and oppress each other..
So they can continue to be horny and hurt each other but because God calls me to do so.
I try to answer his call.

TIEN.

Happy fucking late valentines day!

''It is traditionally a day on which lovers express their love for each other by presenting flowers, offering confectionery, and sending greeting cards.''

Why?.. :))

Well according to wikipedia *nerd!* there are many legends so I am not even going to waste time on writing about it, mainly because I was too lazy to read the whole page.
I just wanted to share MY story! ^-^

To be honest I was kind of looking forward towards Valentines day, that because for the first time I really am lucky and blessed to be with a man I honestly love.
I don't believe I ever really loved, as some of you follow my blog, probably have read some of my poetry.
Poems about how I thought love should be, love should feel, poems I wrote when I thought I loved but looking back at it now, I never really did.
Now, I even cannot write a poem, sounds so not romantic.. right? :)
It's just, there are no words to describe it and no sentence is as beautiful as the feeling inside and at the same time no sentence is as horrible as the feeling inside.
I believe we all have been at the 'I hope they'll stay and keep liking me' point.
There are no words because Maarten is spinning around my mind all the time, hoping that he eats well, sleeps well, feels lucky, feels happy, enjoys himself and even the thoughts that I could bare with being miserable as long as he has a smile on his face and as long as he's happy.
He inspires me to live more than anyone or anything, inspires me to even be better than I am.
There are two words comming close what love should be for me.
Infinite & Unconditional.
We are spending time for a while now, the clock was ticking towards 14th of february faster and faster but every seccond we spent together was a special one.
Noway that an official day for lovers could top that or could make it even more better, why would we just be special and lovely to each other on a specific day? it's ridiculous though, I believe that we should cherish our loved ones every day and tell them every day how special and beautiful they are and how much they mean in your life.
Maarten and me spent V.day watching 'Despicable Me' and it was the best V.day ever.

With all my love,
TIEN.

Don't forget to tell your loved ones that they're special and how much they mean for you.. even if it's your mom you tell it to, it's great to see them smile. :)

If you are brave enough to leave behind everything familiar and comforting, which can be anything from your house to your bitter old resentments, and set out on a truth seeking journey, either externally or internally, and if you are truly willing to regard everything that happens to you on that journey as a clue, and if you accept everyone you meet along the way as a teacher, and if you are prepared -most of all- to face (and forgive) some very difficult realities about yourself....
then truth will not be withheld from you.