Falling like the stars, I'm falling fast and hard-
For something I can't reach.

Sadly one Sunday, I waited and waited
With flowers in my arms, for the grief I'd created
I waited 'til dreams like my heart were all broken
The flowers were all dead and the words were unspoken
The grief that I knew was beyond all consoling
The beat of my heart was a bell that was tolling
Saddest of Sundays

Then came the Sunday when you came to find me
They brought me to church and I left you behind me
My eyes would not see what I wanted to love me
The earth and the flowers are forever above me
The bell tolled for me and the wind whispered 'never'
But you I have loved and I bless you forever
Last of all Sundays

Diamanda Galas - Gloomy Sunday.

''Oh fuck.''

Those two words explain about everything.
every situation..
we land in.

I just found out.
Philosophy
is nothing more
than playing with words.
as is our existence.
Nothing much to cogitate about really.
The meaning of our existence is nothing more than the words we hang on it.

Nothing NEW to discover really.
Since the alphabet already exists.
Discovering a new letter would actually be a major discovery.
To create new words to say things we aren't able to say,
not because we don't dare but because we don't know how.
I wonder how it would be
To speak feeling that I even don't understand.
To write emotions I even don't know how to describe.
Maybe I should try and discover those new letters..

Maybe that's what philosophy really is.
Discovering new letters.
New pronunciation
To describe
the indescribable
Let's try.

Love.
Tien.

The days are getting longer and lighter.
It's not as cold as it used to be.
I actually feel that the summer is heading this way.
The nature shows it all the way.
In this place where I am from, it rains alot.
The trees need water to grow out their buds.
Some trees even have their buds, almost ready to pop out.
As the world is changing around me, I'm feeling like I'm standing still.
I'm feeling buried in a bunch of work, buried in information I just have to suck up.
I am not against information and I am eager to learn, to know and to eventually become.
It's just..
Now.
I've worked myself in some kind of mess I cannot get out.
Do you think it's possible to learn two years philosophy in two months?
I am not really sure what I can do anymore.
How far can the possible really go.
What is its limit?
How far does it reach?
Now I am basically just trying to move mountains.
But hey.
At least I've just discovered Ankie.
God bless technology. In some kind of way.

LOVE.
Tien.